Hi, sorry to pop in and interrupt! Thought I might be able to offer some mods relevant to your interests:
For DarnUI not saving settings, this mod, Config Addon:
http://www.nexusmods.com/oblivion/mods/34792/
purports to fix that issue, I don't recall if it works because I'm playing vanilla (...I know) Oblivion at the moment, but the comments overall seem to confirm that it does. It's important to note that for this mod to work it requires either ConScribe or Pluggy, I've had issues with the latter in the past and it seems a lot of others have as well. So I would recommend ConScribe, which you can find here:
http://www.nexusmods.com/oblivion/mods/26510/?
As for the issue of "I find myself spending more time modding the game than playing the game", which is most certainly a rabbit hole I and others have fallen down, here is my advice- feel free to take it or leave it:
Do not bother trying to set up a single, definitive load order that has all the mods you will ever want and that is somehow stable. At least in my experience, that way lies burnout. You sit in Wrye Bash for ages fiddling with your load order and rebuilding the bashed patch. If you're trying to play it "smart" you do test run after test run with each little batch of mods you install- which when you factor in modded Oblivion's load times and tendency to hang unresponsive on exit can be very time consuming. When something goes wrong, you get a consistent CTD or missing meshes or whatever, you can spend a whole lot of time diagnosing the problem and even longer trying to fix it. And you never seem to actually get to playing the game.
What I have started doing and would recommend is to minimize the number of mods you have going at any one time. You wanna explore Elsweyr right now? Have Elsweyr in there, but not Lost Spires and Stirk and all that. If you're playing a mage character, you might want Mannimarco Resurrection and Midas Magic in there. If you're doing the main quest, you might have Kvatch Rebuilt. Maybe you have a "base save" with your character and some quality of life mods like DarN UI, and when you want to play a certain quest mod you throw that in along with any necessary patches, and start a new series of saves. This way you minimize the amount of plugins active, the amount of potential conflicts, the amount of ways things can go wrong. You minimize the time spent slamming your head against the keyboard cursing Oblivion, Wrye Bash, Bethesda, Microsoft, and the deity of your choice- because you've been troubleshooting for the last three hours and still don't know why the game's crashing in one particular spot.
There are issues with this approach, obviously. You'll end up with a lot of different saves, a lot of different load orders to juggle, a lot of files to manage. HeyYou's advice of BACK IT UP comes into play here- if you have a good "base", for example, with the essential mods you'll have going practically every playthrough, you'll want safe copies of that. There are tools to more easily manage different load orders- Mod Organizer's profiling feature is one of it's biggest claims to fame, along with a "virtual data folder" that keeps all your mods nice and separate so you never have to worry that you installed your mods in the wrong order and now things have been overwritten and you've got to do it all again- but it's up to you if you want to take the time to learn yet another program when you've already got Wrye Bash to deal with. And if you're throwing mods in and out of your install, starting different characters and branching off paths where you explore a certain quest mod's content, you don't get that same feel of a long continuing story as that person who's been rocking the same PC since 2006 or whatever.
Again, you don't have to take this advice. Maybe someone who knows more about Oblivion than me will come in and retort that this is terrible advice. But I think that if what you're looking for is gameplay- quests and adventures and new lands etc., you might as well stop trying to craft that one perfect install and just add in the mods as you play them.