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What about Bob?....


Cybernikes
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Okay, so we all hate insects pretty much right? They get in our faces and food and are just all around pests in general.

So yesterday evening we are sitting on the porch having dinner. Nothing fancy, just the family with some of Beth's mouthwatering pork chops and a bottle of Merlot, and the cool breeze generated by our ceiling fans.

Suddenly a lightning bug flies past my face but is apparently caught in the fan's vortex and instinctively I swat it away. I really thought nothing of it, it was just a normal reaction. Except, well it injured the bug.

Now see, my wife, she really, really likes fireflies, and moths, and butterflies, and cats, and dogs, and gerbils, hamsters, gophers, beetles, ladybugs, chipmunks, aardvarks, owls, cheetahs  and a billion other life forms on our planet.

She was very upset. "Honey, he's a bug, it's not like his quality of life has been seriously downgraded." "I mean I'm sorry and all, but I'm pretty sure I won't be incarcerated for my heinous crimes, nor will I be forced to spend an eternity in hell doing penance over this." "He's a bug, circle of life know what I mean?"

Yeah, his name is Bob. Bob the Lightning Bug. Bob is recuperating right now on my front porch in a little house I made for him out of a chocolate box and a roll of metal tape.
Tell me love does not make us do stupid things.

Seriously. This is a woman with a master's degree, in education no less, and yet she sobs when she tells me "Bob is going to die."...Bob...a bug.

"Well, okay well it is Sunday honey, ...pray for..uh..Bob..may God ....uh...heal him, .........and of course may He have mercy on my soul for perpetrating this dastardly deed, that goes without saying!"

So what about Bob?...Well it ain't looking good sports fans, ....I'll keep you posted on the funeral arrangements.

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Well, uh first of all she's watching him like she's momma bug, and secondly she went and got him flowers that he's supposed to eat. He's got food ,shelter, a warm bed and I'm pretty sure a mini ipod.
Secondly I keep forgetting she's the preacher's daughter and she probably is praying for him, and ...well..he is looking better?!

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I certainly feel a certain degree of familiarity.  I'm not a huge fan of bugs, but I am the person who spent over half an hour trying to free a beetle that a spider had wrapped up for its lunch.  It's surprisingly difficult to remove a cocoon of spider silk without damaging any stray legs, but I eventually managed.

 

That said, I like spiders too and prohibit my gf from squishing them (she's terrified of them, though they really like her, unfortunately.  I mean really like her, they seem to think she's the spider goddess or something).  Which means I keep having to rescue them from her.  She doesn't really share my opinion that they're like cute little eight-legged cats.  Her best investment was a spider-catching stick that can pick them up at a safe distance without injuring them.

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Link to the spider stick? :)

 

I allow a certain population of spiders in the house. Once it gets beyond that though, I fog the house, and we start over again. I live in an old farm house, so, spiders are simply a fact of life. :D

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I think it's this one.  It works surprisingly well!

That's kinda cool... Looks like it would work for hummingbirds as well..... They like to fly into my garage, and then cant seem to find the HUGE holes where the garage doors are... they prefer to beat themselves against the ceiling....

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  • 3 weeks later...

This is what I thought of when I saw the name of this thread :lmao:

 

bob.jpg

 

Ok so bugs. So I have a real problem killing bugs.. unless they are mosquito's. Even then I try to just shooo them away. Its been a real test of my constitution to pick up those huge centipedes with a piece of paper and quickly get to a window or a door to drop them outside. Those things are all over and here is my question... why... WHY do they have so many legs? Why does one bug need so many legs. I really don't see any reason for a bug to have more than 6-8 legs.. seems ok right? For the most part I just see a bug in the house and just kinda pretend its not there.. i.e spiders. I don't mind spiders though I sure am quick to check the internet to see if the ones i see are poisonous... As of yet I have not found one that is. 

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