Okay, so we all hate insects pretty much right? They get in our faces and food and are just all around pests in general.
So yesterday evening we are sitting on the porch having dinner. Nothing fancy, just the family with some of Beth's mouthwatering pork chops and a bottle of Merlot, and the cool breeze generated by our ceiling fans.
Suddenly a lightning bug flies past my face but is apparently caught in the fan's vortex and instinctively I swat it away. I really thought nothing of it, it was just a normal reaction. Except, well it injured the bug.
Now see, my wife, she really, really likes fireflies, and moths, and butterflies, and cats, and dogs, and gerbils, hamsters, gophers, beetles, ladybugs, chipmunks, aardvarks, owls, cheetahs and a billion other life forms on our planet.
She was very upset. "Honey, he's a bug, it's not like his quality of life has been seriously downgraded." "I mean I'm sorry and all, but I'm pretty sure I won't be incarcerated for my heinous crimes, nor will I be forced to spend an eternity in hell doing penance over this." "He's a bug, circle of life know what I mean?"
Yeah, his name is Bob. Bob the Lightning Bug. Bob is recuperating right now on my front porch in a little house I made for him out of a chocolate box and a roll of metal tape.
Tell me love does not make us do stupid things.
Seriously. This is a woman with a master's degree, in education no less, and yet she sobs when she tells me "Bob is going to die."...Bob...a bug.
"Well, okay well it is Sunday honey, ...pray for..uh..Bob..may God ....uh...heal him, .........and of course may He have mercy on my soul for perpetrating this dastardly deed, that goes without saying!"
So what about Bob?...Well it ain't looking good sports fans, ....I'll keep you posted on the funeral arrangements.