Need a script for a turd

[Exanimis]

I have a lot of trouble with headaches and even though I know it is no excuse, I have some strange ideas. While resting in a quite room today trying to ease the throbbing pain in my head, I got a flash, or flush of genius. Chamber pots. That's right, those wonderful bowls with lids that people kept in their rooms so that they wouldn't have to make a freezing run for the out house. Then I thought to myself "If I make a container that is a chamber pot, what would the player find in one?"

Survey says!

You are a winner! The correct answer is a TURD.

Well, I climbed out of bed with tears in my eyes. I don't know if they were from the theme song to Jaws that was pounding through my head or from laughing so hard. I could just imagine someone running through Tamriel armed with a long nasty turd. The ideas just kept rolling in like a turd riding the waves of a New York city sewer. I started up my desk top and soon had both the chamber pot and the turd modeled and textured. I even tested them in game,,,,well to be honest I just tested the turd.Oh. it's nasty. I tapered it on the end and even modeled in kernels of corn. But here, as with all my modding is where I got stuck. Constipated if you will. I am not a scripter! I can't script or write quests and this mod needs a script.

Yes, it's funny running through the IC attacking people with a turd but that isn't enough. I need a script that will prevent anyone from attacking you while you are equipped with this corn fed monster. When you go near someone they should back off like you had just hit them with a hammer. Of coarse, if you attack someone it should still count but no guard will arrest you until you put away your foul friend.

The second part of the script should have the same effect as a dead body. Ever notice how NPC's can't walk past a body without looking down at it? How about the way the guards always kneel down and check a body? Imagine dropping a long nasty turd on the streets of the Imperial city and watching all the NPC's who pass.

OK, so this is a mod that will be easy to finish and it's just for some nasty, juvenile fun but I'd love to have the scripts. Can anyone take the time out of their busy day for a bathroom break, I mean to help?

I can post screenshots if anyone dares to ask.

[Glaedr]

that is incredibly funny. i can imagine some funny vids coming from this mod. wish i could help you, but sadly i cant.

[Relic]

What an alarming thread. Good luck, although any pics I suggest are sent strictly by PM.

[Tyana_Rie]

This mod would end up being pretty complicated, because after a while,

your character is going to get locked up in a straight jacket for running around

the Imperial City with your own poop in your hand

[myrmaad]

Well it might go nicely with this one: http://www.tesnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=23796

[lEx0dusl]

I would love to use it with a throw able items mod that I have installed. So far the funniest things i have been able to throw are pumpkins and coins (at the beggars) but a throw able turd would easily take the cake (now i want a cake item to throw at people >_<)

-Ex0dus