Tavern Tales: Come on in and have a drink! Part I

[grond]

Yeah, and it's pretty good, too!

You know, except for that one thing, you know, that inconsistent perspective thing.

I used to talk with Hemingway about that very thing, while we were fishing down at the Key West place. 'Round 58, 59ish. I always got him so riled up. He really hated 'the switch', as he called it. Really hated it. Said it was cheating. Man I used to taunt him about it, and I used to tell him about how I would always do it, and I'd always end a scene with the dreaded 'two return' - you know, where there is a four line space to let the reader know we're moving to the next scene. One time I made him so mad about the 'two return' that he choked on his key lime pie. Tossed his cookies, he did.

Good times.

Vereta, heat makes cold more tolerable. I'd much rather sweat than shiver. Wouldn't you?

Wouldn't ANY of you?

[Guest]

I live in Sweden, 'nuff said.

[Vereta]

I rather it'd be not too warm and not to hot. <:c

[HeyYou]

Holy crap. I am gone for a few days, and look what happens. A thread grows to 9 pages????

Cool midwest my eye.... I is curretyly 85 degrees F, at 11am.... forecast for today is over 90. perhaps WELL over 90. Unfortunately, this horribly hot weather just kills me...... Ug. Give me sunny and 75!!! 20% humidity. Yeah. All year round. Oh well.

[grond]

I need a real drink, after working this morning with the CS. I need to bask in the sweltering sun - life sucks at lukewarm - then drink Blue Moon and eat chicken wings. I'm stepping out now, bar's open!

[Guest]

We get 30- C all winter here in sweden, now that's how you keep it "cool"

[BretonGuy]

Barkeep give me a Samuel adams please

[DarkRider]

Barkeep give me a Samuel adams please

Here you go!

[grond]

Angel. I love the OJ smiley - can you do a Guinness one? It would be the same as the pepsi one - same color drink, but w/o the logo.

Here's what I'll do if you make it -

[Guest]

Glad you like it Grond!

Even though Rider made it

Kind as he is, he decided to give me an OJ smiley as a present. So... Go beg at his feet instead

[Guest]

Right... It's 3:32 here in Sweden, i'ma hitting the sack, g'night Grond!

[grond]

Well Commander?

You drink the good stuff.

Suppose we can get a pepsi smiley without the pepsi?

*grond pours two pints and traces a shamrock in the head of the Commander's*

Whattya say?

[grond]

G'Night Angel!

[DarkRider]

Granted!

[grond]

x ==

[Guest]

Hah! Screenshot taken, Grond! You'll regret having danced publicly!

[grond]

*grond hides.*

*grond has breakfast.*

*grond crawled DANCED on!*

[Guest]

*Angel can't resist, he starts dancing!*

[BretonGuy]

Breton feels left out so starts dancing lo

[DarkRider]

*walks in and sees Grond, Angel, and BretonGuy dancing...pauses a moment then quietly slips over to the bar to pour a Guiness from the tap* Jeez, Mates what's with all the dancing? Must be something in the water!

[Guest]

*hears Riders tacky comment and stops dancing for a moment*

Hush or i'm gonna start hugging!

*starts dancing even more wildly than before*

[grond]

*grond stops dancing.*

Hey it was my Birthday yesterday. My favorite waitress at my favorite restaurant spoke with me at length about spotting silicone in swimsuits...

*After downing a couple of well-drawn pints...

for Darkrider

for BretonGuy

(Now we need a lager smiley)

for Angel

the dancing resumes.*

C'mon in! Name your poison! Free hugs from Angel!

[DarkRider]

Aye Grond Mate! Cheers! Many happy returns on your Birthday!!!

[grond]

Thanks, gents.

Sure is quiet in here.

A SONG, THEN!

O, the woman I love is a friendly sort,

with two gold teeth and a big hairy wart

on her long and crooked nose.

But that don't bother me none.

O, the woman I love likes candy and roses,

and her thank yous come with halitosis

so strong I pinch my nose closed.

But that don't bother me none.

O, the woman I love is mild and sweet,

and she has a pair of the stinkiest feet

and toenails that tear through her hose.

But that don't bother me none.

O the woman I love's favorite meal is cake,

and her five or six chins and her cankles make

her potbelly much less exposed.

But that don't bother me none.

O, the woman I love ain't fancy or clever,

and I love her because she rarely if ever

wears a sign on her saying "I'm Closed".

She's hairy,

She's hot,

She likes me a lot,

She never says

Ever says

NO.

[DarkRider]